The Nine Best Names in MLB
Entering today (June 8th, 2013), 1027 individuals have made an appearance in a major league game this season. This ranges from single AB to 80+ innings on the mound. Today, I’d like to evaluate the coolness or baseballness of their names. The rules are simple. To be eligible, you have to have played in an MLB game this year. That means Stryker Trahan (minors) and Skye Bolt (college) aren’t on the list. Injured and retired players don’t count. Here is a complete list of eligible players (Baseball Names).
This list is subjective and entirely my own, but it’s right.
9. Kyle Blanks (Padres)
8. Dexter Fowler (Rockies)
7. Addison Reed (White Sox)
6. Clete Thomas (Twins)
Blanks, Fowler, and Reed made the list over a lot of good candidates, but their names just sound like names you’d hear on a baseball field. Clete Thomas belongs for obvious reasons. His first name (technically his middle name) is a piece of baseball equipment.
5. Homer Bailey (Reds)
4. Josh Outman (Rockies)
Homer Bailey has the ironic distinction of having his name be the opposite of what he hopes to accomplish on the mound, while Josh Outman’s last name is exactly what he’s going for – outs man.
3. Chase Utley (Phillies)
Chase Utley probably doesn’t need any introduction. Chase and Utley would probably get you on the list individually, but Chase Utley together is a lock.
2. Asdrubal Cabrera (Indians)
Cabrera is one of baseball’s most bland names, except when your first name sounds like a type of layered pastry.
1. Buster Posey (Giants)
Buster and Posey, like Chase and Utley, are probably good enough to make the list carrying a “John” or “Smith,” but together Buster Posey just screams baseball.
What names did we leave out that you like? Where you would put Trahan and Bolt on this list? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter.
The Nine Worst Tigers Teams Ever
Last week, as the Tigers honored the 1968 World Series team, I took a look at the The Nine Best Tigers Teams Ever. Today, I’ll do the opposite and will give you the worst Tigers teams ever. The methodology is the same. I’m ranking the teams by Wins Above Replacement (WAR), not because that’s the best way, but because it’s easy to take a look at win totals and this requires a little more legwork. WAR is a good choice for a list like this because it compares the team to its environment, which is good because the level of competition varies and we’d like to control for context when making a list like this.
Also of note, which you can see in the original post, is the WAR and Wins correlate extremely well over samples of this size.
9. 1994 Tigers (18.0 WAR, 53 Wins)
8. 1918 Tigers (17.7 WAR, 55 Wins)
7. 1904 Tigers (15.4 WAR, 62 Wins)
6. 1989 Tigers (14.2 WAR, 59 Wins)
5. 1975 Tigers (13.8 WAR, 57 Wins)
4. 2002 Tigers (12 WAR, 55 Wins)
3. 1995 Tigers (9.9 WAR, 60 Wins)
2. 1996 Tigers (2.2 WAR, 53 Wins)
1. 2003 Tigers (1.7 WAR, 43 Wins)
A few things are worth noting about this list that I think are interesting and/or important. First, the 1994 Tigers are somewhat unfairly listed here because that was a strike shortened season. If you’re curious the 2001 Tigers are the first team out at 18.2 WAR and 66 Wins. Additionally, the 2003 Tigers are not just the worst Tigers team ever, but likely one of the worst teams ever, period. By this same measure, they are the 4th worst team ever, trailing only the ’54 Athletics, ’63 Mets, and ’79 Athletics (also the ’13 Marlins and Astros, but they will presumably add a couple more WAR before the end of the season). I wrote about the 2003 Tigers more extensively here.
What’s also pretty fun is that the 2013 Tigers were not excluded from consideration and are already better than 15 Tigers teams just 52 games into the season. That’s got to be a good sign.
Helping the cause, the worst Tigers seasons ever by a qualifying player and pitcher belong to Jerry Morales in 1979 (-2.5 WAR) and John Hiller in 1979 (-1.6 WAR). Surprisingly, the 1979 Tigers won 84 games and are only the 46th worst Tigers team in history.
The Nine Best Tigers Teams Ever
Today, the Detroit Tigers are paying tribute to the 1968 team during the 45th anniversary year of that team’s World Series win, the 3rd in Tigers history. Today, I though I’d give you a ranking of the best Tigers teams ever by Wins Above Replacement (WAR), which will allow for a comparison between eras.
As you may know, one of the primary benefits of WAR is that it compares players to their own contemporaries, meaning that it controls for the overall quality of the league at the time. Obviously, Babe Ruth played in a low HR era, so his totals look more impressive than someone like Sammy Sosa who played at the height of offense in MLB. WAR allows us to make direct comparisons between teams that played decades apart, which is why I’m using it. Obviously, you can look at win totals and how far each team went in the postseason, but this is another approach to the same question.
9. 1909 Tigers (47 WAR, 98 Wins, lost World Series)
8. 1946 Tigers (48.6 WAR, 92 Wins)
7. 1968 Tigers (48.8 WAR, 103 Wins, won World Series)
6. 1940 Tigers (49.4 WAR, 90 Wins, lost World Series)
5. 1935 Tigers (50.1 WAR, 93 Wins, won World Series)
4. 1961 Tigers (50.7 WAR, 101 Wins)
3. 1915 Tigers (50.8 WAR, 100 Wins)
2. 1984 Tigers (51.6 WAR, 104 Wins, won World Series)
1. 1934 Tigers (52.1 WAR, 101 Wins, lost World Series)
Should you be interested, the 2012 Tigers ranked 16th on this list with 43.9 WAR and 88 Wins, while the 2006 Tigers were 23rd with 42.2 WAR and 95 wins. Surprisingly (and perhaps due to WWII), the World Champion 1945 Tigers are 56th on the list with 34.5 WAR and 88 wins. The 2013 Tigers are already better than 13 other Tigers teams!
It’s also of note, perhaps, the strong relationship that Wins Above Replacement has with actual team Wins in large samples; nearly a perfect 1 to 1 ratio.
So while we tend to consider the four World Series teams the best ones, if you’re looking for regular season greatness the list looks slightly different. Let’s celebrate all of the great Tigers teams, and even the bad ones. Even that one at the far bottom left portion of the graph. I still love you, 2003 Tigers.
The Nine Best Tigers Hitters of the Last Decade
The following post is an installment in our weekly The Nine series and pertains solely to the site’s namesake, the Tigers. The question it seeks to answer is who are the best Tigers hitters of the last decade. It doesn’t answer who the best players are, but simply their offense performance. Defense and baserunning are not considered and the minimum PA threshold has been set at 600 PA. This isn’t a counting list that you can conquer by playing 10 seasons reasonably well. As long as you have had at least one full season of plate appearances as a Tiger from 2004 to now, you are eligible. The list is based on the best single offensive catch all metric, Weighted Runs Created Plus (wRC+) and does not control for position, sorry Pudge.
9. Andy Dirks (705 PA, 113 wRC+)
It might not seem like it, but across several seasons, Dirks has gathered more than one full season of PA and has performed very well at the plate. It doesn’t stand out, but his .289/.339/.447 career line is solid and he makes up for the lower walk rate with a low strikeout rate. He doesn’t over swing and it yields good results. In just over a full season of PA, he has 19 HR, 105 R, 76 RBI, and 10 SB. Put that together and you have a very nice player by any measure.
8. Victor Martinez (761 PA, 114 wRC+)
Martinez’s numbers are slightly depressed off a slow start to 2013, but his 2011 season was very strong and his career .304/.356/.433 line as a Tiger is quite good. His strikeout rate is under 10% and he’s done a nice job of driving in the batters who get on base ahead of him.
7. Rondell White (898 PA, 114 wRC+)
Does that name ring a bell? White played two seasons in Detroit (04-05) and was actually a pretty decent hitter other than having a low walk rate. He hit .290/.342/.470 as a Tiger and hit 31 HR wearing the Old English D. He wasn’t much in the field or on the bases, but his performance at the plate wasn’t anything at which to sneeze.
6. Curtis Granderson (2896 PA, 115 wRC+)
Granderson spend time in Detroit from 2004-2009 and gave the Tigers some solid offense in addition to his once great defensive chops. His .272/.344/.484 line puts him 6th on this list and 4th among players with more than 1000 PA and his 102 HR ranks fourth among Tigers hitters since 2004.
5. Chris Shelton (899 PA, 117 wRC+)
Yup, that Chris Shelton. He crushed the first two months of 2006 to get himself on this list and he didn’t hang around too long after he started coming back to Earth, so he ended his Tigers tenure with a .281/.348/.477 line with 35 HR. His peak was short, but for six weeks in 2006, Big Red was the man.
4. Carlos Guillen (3384 PA, 120 wRC+)
Guillen was often underrated in his time and often injured in his time as well. When he was on the field, he was a very good offensive player, providing a .297/.366/.476 line from 2004-2011 that included 95 HR as a Tiger. He walked more than league average and struckout far less to go along with his high average and solid power. Man, if only he wasn’t made of a substance more fragile than glass. He played just two seasons of 150+ games in his 8 seasons.
3. Magglio Ordonez (3531 PA, 125 wRC+)
Ordonez’s injuries and dwindling power at the end belie his overall contribution to the Tigers when he was healthy during his stint with the Tigers from 2005-2011. His .312/.373/.476 line was excellent along with 107 HR and a very low strikeout rate (11.9%). He also provided that amazing near MVP season in 2007 in which he hit .363/.434/.595 line good for 170 wRC+. Plus, you know, the homerun in the 2006 ALCS.
2. Prince Fielder (873 PA, 152 wRC+)
Prince is the newest Tiger on this list having just joined the team at the beginning of last season, but his offensive mark has already been made. He’s hit .305/.410/.526 since joining the team and has been near the top of the league in most offensive categories including his 39 HR and walk rate over 13%.
1. Miguel Cabrera (3590 PA, 159 wRC+)
Well, yeah. As a Tiger Cabrera has hit .326/.403/.580 with 191 HR and a 11.3% walk rate. I’m not sure what needs to be said other than that it is entirely possible he is getting better and could pull away from the pack as the next couple of years go on. This will be his 6th season as a Tiger. Let’s break it down list this:
2008-2010: .314/.388/.567, 109 HR, 147 wRC+ in 2017 PA
2011-2013: .341/.423/.597, 82 HR, 173 wRC+ in 1573 PA
Good luck anyone trying to climb to the top of this list. And to AL pitchers.
The Nine Players I Wish I Had Been Alive to See
In baseball more than other sports, we are captivated by history. The great players who came before us are mythical figures. Bart Starr is pretty much just a football player, but Babe Ruth is something else entirely. We pass down stories to our children of the players we got to see and marvel at how certain players seemed to dominate their era.
Below is a list, entirely my own and entirely subjective, of players I wish I had been alive to see. Anyone who played after 1990 is ineligible and the qualifications are not necessarily based on anything other than who I find to be the exciting and tantalizing figures whom I was unable to see.
9. Brooks Robinson (35th All-Time in position player WAR)
Advanced defensive statistics aren’t particularly reliable before the last several seasons of in depth video analysis, but plenty of baseball statisticians have worked through the data of yesteryear to provide a decent approximation. What those metrics tell us is that Brooks Robinson was 5% more valuable on defense than the second best defender in baseball history. He was a slightly above average hitter, but a preposterously impressive defender. Any old-school eyeball influenced observer would tell you the same. Robinson is quite possibly the best glove man to ever put on a pair of cleats.
8. Jackie Robinson (133rd All-Time in position player WAR)
Jackie is of no relation to Brooks, but that doesn’t make him less interesting. Robinson’s story isn’t one that requires much explanation. He broke baseball’s color barrier and was both a very good player and a man who could restrain his emotions and conduct himself with grace, such that he may be one of the most influential figures of the 20th century. A career 135 wRC+ doesn’t hurt either.
7. Ted Williams (8th All-Time in position player WAR)
Williams’ modest personal goal was to be the greatest hitter whoever lived. Perhaps the only person who can contend for that title with Williams is Babe Ruth. Williams career 188 wRC+ is 2nd only to Ruth and has the highest career OBP in baseball history and is second in slugging percentage to the same. It’s hard to imagine a more impressive plate appearance than what Ted Williams could offer in his prime.
6. Willie Mays (4th All-Time in position player WAR)
Many consider Mays to be the greatest player to ever put on a uniform and I won’t argue with anyone who thinks so. He was a superb defender in centerfield (7th best defender in history according to advanced metrics) and hit a measly 660 homeruns while posting a 154 wRC+. Maybe I wouldn’t say he was best player to ever live, but I couldn’t name too many who’d be in that conversation along with him.
5. Roberto Clemente (34th All-Time in position player WAR)
Clemente’s career was also cut short like Koufax’s, but his was cut short tragically while on an aid mission. He was a fine hitter (career 129 wRC+), but he is on this list for his defense, especially his arm. It was a magic arm. One of the best two of all time and the other contender is two spots below him on this list. Clemente is 5th all time by advanced defensive metrics and trails just one outfielder (Andruw Jones). I’d pay a good amount of money to watch him stand at the warning track and throw baseball’s to third base.
4. Sandy Koufax (62nd All-Time in pitcher WAR)
Now you may think that the only pitcher on this list should be higher on the all time WAR list than 62nd, but Koufax’s low total is the function of a short career and not a brilliant prime. The Dodger lefty is the pitcher most deserving of a spot on this list because 1) many of the game’s best arms pitched during my lifetime and 2) he’s among a small number of Jewish players to truly excel in sports. Among pitchers who were predominantly starters who qualify, he’s 9th all-time in K/9 and he’s at the top of that list if you restrict it to players whose careers ended before 1990. He is the strikeout king of pitchers before my time. He had three 9.8+ WAR seasons. The only other pitcher who can make that claim was Silver King who played in the 1880s! He was awesome.
3. Al Kaline (25th All-Time in position player WAR)
Mr. Tiger gets extra points for being the greatest Tiger to ever live (IMO, take that Cobb!) and being my father’s favorite player growing up. But he’s also everything I love in a player. A fine hitter (134 wRC+) with good plate discipline (11.0% BB rate) and an excellent defender with a brilliant arm. Kaline ranks as the 19th best defensive player ever and has an arm at which Tigers fans still marvel. He used to throw behind runners rounding first base and get them out. I’ve never seen that happen in my years of watching baseball. Additionally, Kaline is an exemplary citizen who has literally worked for just one company since he graduate high school: the Detroit Tigers. Takes “Always a Tiger” to a new level.
2. Joe DiMaggio (33rd All-Time in position player WAR)
DiMaggio was a great player, no question, and a great hitter (career 152 wRC+), but his reason for being on this list is simple. He owns the most impressive record in sports history. I’m very fond of Ripkin’s games played streak, but DiMaggio’s 56 game hit streak is quite simply the pinnacle of human athletic achievement. Hitting a baseball is widely regarded as the most difficult single task in sports and DiMaggio got a base hit or more in 56 consecutive games, when most players rarely make it 10. Yet what makes this record so spectacular is that it is so far ahead of its challengers. It’s 27% longer than the second longest streak ever. 27%! Let me put it this way, Hank Aaron’s 755 homeruns rank second most all time. In order to be 27% better than that, Bonds would have had to hit 959 homeruns. DiMaggio’s accomplishment is without equals.
1. Stan Musial (10th All-Time in position player WAR)
Stan Musial was a brilliant hitter and a brilliant citizen. Ruth, Hornsby, Williams, and Gehrig are the only players in history to exceed Musial in average, on base percentage, and slugging percentage. That’s the whole list. He was a solid defender and was one of the nicest men to ever play professional sports. During his career, hitters struck out 11% of the time. He struck out 5.5% of the time. Relative to league average, he’d be a 10% type strikeout guy today who walked 20% of the time. There is no one even close to that type of ratio. Not even a little. That level of plate discipline belongs on Mount Rushmore.
Who are on your wish you had seem them list?
The Nine Most Average Hitters of the Last Decade
Have you ever sat back and thought about being typical? Average? Middle of the road? Chances are you haven’t, but don’t worry, that’s where I come in. I answer questions you never knew you had and I’m about to do it again.
Have you ever wondered who the most average players are? We talk a lot about league average when we talk about statistics, but we don’t often provide illustrative examples. So let’s do that.
Below are a list of the most average MLB players over the last decade (2004-present) as defined by wRC+. There were 10-20 players who have posted a 100 wRC+ during that time period, so to make The Nine list, you have to have a 100 wRC+ since 2004 and then you have to have the most plate appearances doing so (as of 5/3/2013).
9. Ian Desmond (1964 PA)
8. Mike Jacobs (2140)
7. Marcus Giles (2190)
6. Brad Wilkerson (2412)
5. Xavier Nady (2794)
4. Mark Loretta (2885)
3. Coco Crisp (4397)
2. Aaron Hill (4494)
1. Alex Rios (5449)
Normally I write a blurb about each of the items on our The Nine lists, but I’d like to consider this one as a group because it’s more interesting to me. Notice the groupings. Players ranked 5-9 all have between 3 and 5 seasons of plate appearances during this window. They were league average over a span of 3-5 years during a sample of about 10. Crisp and Hill have 7 seasons. Rios has 9. So while these guys are all average by our best single offensive metric, Alex Rios is super average in that he produced average offense over a really long period of time. Let’s look at his career a little bit.
While Rios has been average on average, he has actually never been average in any one season. His most average season was 2008 in which he posted a 108 wRC+. What is kind of amazing is that none of the other guys on this list display a pattern much different from Rios. They vary in the degree to which they deviate from the 100 wRC+ line, but they all deviate a great deal. I haven’t taken the time to go searching for baseball’s most consistently average player, but I will someday. For now, Rios gets the title of baseball’s most average hitter over the last decade, but man, he’s done it in atypical fashion.
The Nine Best Aprils of the Last 10 Years
With April 2013 winding down and players such as Adam Wainwright and Justin Upton producing at very high levels, I thought it might be fun to revisit some of the best Aprils in recent memory. A few notes to start. First, March numbers are included for the few years that included 1-2 games in March because it’s simply too difficult to separate out that data and let’s face it, it’s pretty much the same thing. Second, I’ve determined these ranks by Wins Above Replacement (WAR) because it’s the easiest way to boil players down to one number who play different positions during different seasons. One shouldn’t treat this as a precise measure, but it’s the best we can do without inundating ourselves with information. Third, I haven’t included 2013 because it isn’t over yet and this is meant for you to compare this year’s performers with those performances past. For the years 2003-2012, The Nine Best Aprils follow.
9. Ryan Braun, 2011 (2.0 WAR)
Braun opened his MVP campaign in style with 26 games in April 2011. He hit 10 HR and posted a .367/.457/.724 line, good for a .496 wOBA and 220 wRC+. He would wind up hitting 33 HR over the course of the season with a 173 wRC+ and 7.3 WAR.
8. Alex Rodriguez, 2007 (2.1 WAR)
A-Rod, too, won the MVP in 2007 after a great April. He hit 14 HR and hit .355/.415/.882 to go with his .521 wOBA and 226 wRC+ during the first month and ended the year with 54 HR, a wRC+ of 175 and 9.6 WAR.
7. Alex Rodriguez, 2003 (2.1 WAR)
No this isn’t a typo and yes, Alex Rodriguez posted two separate 2.1 WAR in April in two separate MVP seasons in the last ten seasons. In this particular season, he hit 9 HR and posted a .355/.444/.673 slash line which produced a .472 wOBA and 188 wRC+. His season totals for 2003 were also impressive, with 47 HR, a .298/.396/.600 line, a 151 wRC+, and 9.1 WAR.
6. Matt Kemp, 2012 (2.2 WAR)
Just last year, Matt Kemp turned in an elite opening month by hitting 12 HR and delivering a .417/.490/.893 slash line to go with his .566 wOBA and 270 wRC+. Unfortunately for Kemp, injuries would shorten his season to 106 games and while he hit 23 HR and posted a .303/.367/.538 line, it would only be good for 3.2 WAR due to limited playing time.
5. Brian Roberts, 2005 (2.3 WAR)
Once upon a time, Roberts played an entire month of baseball without getting hurt. In April 2005, he hit 8 HR and stole 10 bases while posting a .379/.459/.726 line and a .496 wOBA and 214 wRC+. Roberts played well the rest of the season, and hit 18 HR and stole 27 bases to go with 140 wRC+ and a 9.4 UZR, but his 6.6 WAR wouldn’t be good enough to get him the MVP award that others on this list had coming.
4. Jose Bautista, 2011 (2.3 WAR)
2011 wouldn’t be an MVP year for Joey Bats, but his 9 HR in April and .366/.532/.780 line, wOBA of .541, and wRC+ of 249 would be good enough to put him on the path to a third place finish behind Justin Verlander and Jacoby Ellsbury. Bautista would finish the year with 43 HR, 182 wRC+, and 7.8 WAR. Nothing at which to sneeze.
3. Albert Pujols, 2006 (2.4 WAR)
Pujols delivered a superb April in 2006 enroute to a World Series win and 2nd place MVP finish. He hit 14 HR and .346/.509/.914 with a .548 wOBA and 240 wRC+. He’d finish the year with 8.2 WAR, 49 HR and a wRC+ of 174, but the voters wouldn’t ignore Ryan Howard’s 58 bombs.
2. Chase Utley, 2008 (2.5 WAR)
Howard’s teammate comes next on the list as Chase Utley posted great April 2008. His 11 HR, .360/.430/.766 line look awesome night to his .491 wOBA and 202 wRC+. He’d finish with 33 HR, 134 wRC+, and a 19.5 UZR, good for 8.0 WAR, but Pujols (who had a nice April 2008) beat him out for MVP. That doesn’t bother me much, as Pujols had a slightly better season. What does bother me, however, is that Utley somehow finished 14th despite having the second highest WAR.
1. Barry Bonds, 2004 (2.8 WAR)
Well you knew this was coming. 2004 would be Bonds’ final MVP season and he (and maybe some chemicals) certainly earned it. In April he hit 10 HR and posted an insane .472/.696/1.132 line to go with an otherworldly .673 wOBA and 322 wRC+. No one else is even the same conversation. He would conclude that season with 43 HR and a 233 wRC+ and 11.6 WAR.
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It’s probably worth noting that the only one on this list who didn’t have a fantastic season was Matt Kemp, who simply got hurt. So if you have a 2.0 WAR type April, you’re probably in line for an awesome season. You have a great shot at an MVP award, too. Mr. Upton and Mr. Wainwright, things look good.
The Nine Most Exciting Plays in Baseball
This week, inspired by a fan poll question on FSDetroit on Friday, New English D provides you with The Nine Most Exciting plays in baseball. Each of these are general in that they do not refer to a play that has occurred such as Gibson’s 1988 walk off, but rather plays such as “the inning ending double play.”
Only one of them features a specific game situation (#4), but each play is amplified by the situation. Consider them ranked based on how exciting they would, all else equal. A double play may be more exciting than a diving catch if the double play comes in the bottom of the 9th and the catch comes in the 3rd, but here we consider them context neutral with one obvious exception that will be clear when you read the list.
9. Inside the Park Homerun
Now this one is pretty low on my list compared to what most people tend to believe, but there is a very simple explanation. Almost every inside the park homerun is the result of a defensive misplay. Either a fielder overruns a ball or it takes a weird hop they weren’t anticipating. Rarely is it a feat of speed and guts. In a big park with a fast runner, it can be exciting, but you almost never see one that isn’t dumb luck.
8. Triple Play
My thoughts here are similar; most triple plays are just dumb luck. Usually they happen when the runners are trying to steal but the batter hits a line drive. That’s not really exciting, it’s more just interesting for its rarity. A true triple play is almost impossible and usually just a function of random happenstance. Triple plays are fun, but rarely very exciting because they aren’t terribly dramatic.
7. The Diving Catch
This is a pretty wide category, but diving catches are great because they build to a crescendo. There is the moment the ball is hit, then you think it’s going to be a hit, then you see the fielder closing fast, then you see him decide to dive, then there is a heart stopping moment in which you aren’t sure if he caught it. It’s a thrilling novel spread across less than five seconds.
6. The Do or Die Groundball
I like this one because it functions exactly like the diving catch, except it happens even faster and you have the added element of the bang-bang play at first. Not only do we suddenly realize the fielder might make a play, but we also have to see if the runner can beat the throw. Take the diving catch, narrow the time frame, and given the batter some agency and you’ve got the do or die.
5. Suicide Squeeze
If you aren’t familiar with the terminology, this is when the runner on third takes off for home on the pitch and the batter lays down a bunt to ensure the catcher doesn’t receive the baseball and tag him out. It sounds exciting enough, but the great part is that first second when you see the runner take off and immediately think, “Oh my goodness, what the heck is he doing?” You’re prefrontal cortex takes over after a second, but at the beginning of it, your brain just can’t process what’s happening. It’s pretty cool.
4. Walk-Off Homerun
Everything is better in walk off fashion because it decides the game, but the walk-off homerun gets special mention due to its utter decisiveness. It’s just a great moment.
3. Robbing a Homerun
Take the excitement of the homerun and then add in the excitement of the diving catch. You think it’s going to be a homerun and then all of a sudden it’s taken away. It’s difficult and rare, but its key feature is it takes you from high to low or low to high reaction in a matter of seconds.
2. Stealing Home
This has all the excitement of the suicide squeeze, but with none of the wimpy “bunting.” The baserunner literally thinks he can get to home before the catcher can receive the ball and tag him. All of the “what the heck?” moments from the squeeze apply, but we also get to factor in the chutzpah this requires.
1. Play at the Plate
The play at the plate is the most exciting play in baseball because it has everything. It includes risk by the baserunner, defensive skill by the outfielder, usually a bang-bang call, and it is punctuated by the fact that it can only result in an out or a run. You can see it developing a mile away, but you also hold your breath because you have no idea how it’s going to turn out. A lot of moving parts have to work and then you have to wait that half beat to see what the umpire calls. Just think about how exciting this would be if it came with two outs in the 9th inning of a tie game.
The Nine Signs You’re a Die Hard Baseball Fan
This week on The Nine we’re providing a public service announcement about a serious affliction that affects so many of us. Learn the signs of being a Die Hard Baseball fan. They are as follows:
9. You decorate your home with no regard for aesthetics but rather care about how much team paraphernalia you can place on your walls.
This is a classic sign. There is such a thing as taste in that too much team gear can be obnoxious, as if you’re in a TGI Fridays. However, if you’re a die-hard fan, you don’t care. You place it everywhere it will fit because you love your team.
8. You consider your MLB.TV/Extra Innings subscription to be a non-discretionary expense.
This one is simple, you would sooner give up gasoline than you would access to baseball.
7. Your friends have stopped asking you to hang out during games.
They know that you’ll always choose watching baseball over spending time with other people, unless their desired activity is also watching baseball.
6. You plan procreation around important times of the season.
One would never want to be in the position to miss a playoff game or Opening Day while your wife/you go into labor. This means absolutely no hanky panky during February or July.
5. You spend the offseason in a state of depression despite normally fun events such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.
It’s unavoidable, November to April is just the worst.
4. Your entire schedule centers around game times including doctor’s appointments, classes, meetings, etc.
When someone asks you to schedule something, you don’t check your schedule, you check the team’s schedule.
3. You can only communicate with others if they understand baseball analogies.
“So you’re saying your oldest kid is more of the Avila of the family?”
2. Summer travel is restricted to cities with MLB teams and hotels with MLB Network.
“A free trip to Paris in June? Are you crazy? We have have a nine game homestand starting that week.”
1. You develop hatred toward other people and even other entire states because they cheer for your team’s rival.
For example, you avoid the entire state of Minnesota because it’s terrible.
Do you suffer from these symptoms? If so, don’t call a doctor, you’re fine. If you don’t do these things, call a doctor because you don’t like baseball the right amount.
The Nine Best Ballpark Foods
Two things should be made clear from the beginning. First, this post is about ballpark fare generally and not about The Nine best particular ballpark treats. Second, I am a man of simple tastes and should likely admit to being a picky eater. Therefore, certain items will miss this list that will seem implausible to some of you. For that, I merely offer to you that this list is obviously meant to be fun and not to be taken particularly seriously. Should you choose to take it seriously, I am prepared to follow up with a 1,200 word post about why I find nacho cheese to be gross.
Among those items that miss my list are: Peanuts, Cracker Jacks, Roasted Almonds, Brats, Burgers, Cotton Candy, and Nachos. Go ahead, sue me.
9. Popcorn
Many of the prototypical ballpark snacks are members of the salt family and popcorn is my pick of the litter. It doesn’t live up to the artery clogging euphoria that is movie theater popcorn, but if you’re in the mood to munch on something for a few innings, popcorn is the choice. Peanuts are messy and obnoxious for people sitting around you and lack butter, which is an important component of any guilty pleasure.
Downside: Getting a kernel stuck in your teeth for 6 innings and the drive home.
8. Ice Cream
Perhaps you don’t think about ice cream when you think about stadium food, but it’s a nice cool treat to enjoy during a season that takes place mostly during the summer. The quality of the product varies a great deal across the 30 major league parks, so it’s important to only go for it if you’re not getting melty slop. When it’s good, not much refreshes like two scoops.
Downside: It requires a spoon or a cone, which is either too civilized for the park or too messy.
7. Chicken Fingers
Chicken Fingers are the food of the Gods.
Downside: Requires two hands to eat or one hand and a balancing act on your lap. Potential for spills and drops.
6. French Fries
Fries are a solid gameday food because they are easily to eat and often fit in a cup holder. Also, given that fries are generally considered a side rather than a main dish, it’s a lot easier to justify eating more of them. Plus, anything that brings ketchup to the discussion is a winner.
Downside: Some stadiums skimp on quality and serve freezer aisle fries.
5. Snow Cones
First of all, if you aren’t mixing red and blue in your snow cone to make an awesome purple hybrid, you are not living, my friend. Nothing refreshes like sugar water over ice and it’s super fun to eat. It just takes you back to being a kid and the sweetness gives you that much needed boost for extra innings.
Downside: Snow Cones are becoming rarer and have often been replaced by Lemon Chills.
4. The Local Fare
Most ballparks have an option that is generally unique to its local. AT&T Park has garlic fries, Fenway has seafood. I imagine Target Field serves some sort of mind altering cocktail that keeps people cheering for the Twins. In general, you need to go for this option when you’re visiting. While I’m not a big advocate for trying new things, you can get most of these items anywhere and should consider the unique options when you travel.
Downside: Some of it is icky.
3. Pretzels
The soft pretzel a perfect snack. It’s easily to eat, results in no mess, and is surprisingly filling and satisfying. It’s somewhat customizable with various mustards, cheeses, and degrees of salt.
Downside: There really isn’t one other than that you can get a quality pretzel a lot of places, so you might not want to waste your appetite on one at the park. That’s crazy. Go get a pretzel, I’ll wait.
2. Pizza
I’m confident in telling you that pizza is my favorite food. Pizza is awesome. The only thing keeping it out of the number 1 spot is tradition and the fact that it is a little less manageable than the item above it. But seriously, it’s hard to go wrong with a slice of pizza at any reasonably competent park.
Downside: Occasionally messy depending on style.
1. Hot Dog
Of course. The hot dog is the ballparkiest of the ballpark foods. Easy to eat, fun to top, generally delicious even if it is subpar.
Downside: If you eat three or more, you will wake up that night with a stomach ache. It’s science. Two hot dogs, no problem. Three hot dogs? Near death experience.
What are you favorites at the park? What about favorite specific foods at specific parks? Let us know in the comments.
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